what's the worst that could happen..... right....? right.......?

hello i feel like i wanna die right now but dont worry i still feel the oxygen entering and carbon dioxide leaving my body so i'm pretty much alive right now it's all just in my head it's just the tiny voice in my head which is inaudible by the way asking me why tffff does ur life suck so muchhhh 

i just feel like my mind is sooooooo empty these days, not the calm type of empty tho, it's empty, it's dire, it's colourless, nothing in there, not even a single blow of breeze, no covid too i hope, i dont know man i feel so useless right now. fugg it. i hope this wont be like my last blog post before i die or something or people would be like oooo shit see thats why u dont wish to die see haaaa see see this gurl posting about wanting to die then she die for real lmao tibeh padahal mana ada org cakap camtu sjkdfhksg

at times like this, i just wanna ask those studio ghibli characters, how did they build their life... why are they enjoying life while im suffering... its not fair... i wanna run on waves like ponyo too... i wanna ride on catbus too..... i wanna sit on haku's back while running away from a big head witch too pls tell me where did i go wrong why did i not end up in those kind of lives plez 

anyways. aha. dont sleep after crying, or else u be like me in this post

ps dont worry bout me i jjsut received shitty news and im trying to deal with it, worse that i can scream or dance cuz of these cramps so yea im typing to let all this rage out all good all good i still wanna die but like yea still ok la for now like who tf doesnt wanna die these days dah la ozone layer dah nipis panas nau nau yea yea more rambling and im feeling calmer yes its working yes yes also my cat is beside me sleeping so cutely,,, i feel better i guess! yay! the power of writing ftw! 

ok bye for now. will come again if my rage/sendu/happy meter fill up again. :)