hello bij. tak penat ke jadi malas!
since ending my degree..... i have like only 3 brain cells and 0 motivation left. i'm supposed to do my research but it's not going anywhere. my supervisor is nice enough to not sack me from using her grant lol. next week is the last week for this semester and i do not have anything to present. yet.
is this normal? i heard there are people getting their masters within a year. are they too good or am i too dumb? more like lazy lah. i cant even stay focused to read some journals properly. i dont wanna blame bts but my phone is a bigggg arse distraction for me. i should've just use 3310 lah at this rate lol
anyways. 2019 is only 17 days away. i felt like 2018 is a loooooooooong journey but i cant remember much of it. a lot of bad things happened, lost a lot of feeling (gained some new ones too), lost respect to a few people, lost myself for a while but i guess i got her back lol.
last month.... no, last few months. when i first started my masters, i was kinda down. would cry to sleep every night padahal tak sedih pasal apa2 pun. like, i cried for no reason at all. while listening to BTS and reading their lyrics, i reflected a lot i guess. i thought a lot about my life. i used to question about my life, but now i am actually thinking about my life. if it makes sense. i know i have a purpose in life, i do not want to live this life just by surviving. i want to have a purpose, which i am still searching.
i talk a lot about bts on my twitter. i could never shut up about them because their music gave me a new hope. hope, something i rarely feel in my 23 years of living. but now, i see hope everyday. i can be better, the current me is still improving. i haven't discovered who i am completely, same goes to you.
when you try something new, and you really like it, pernah terfikir tak "oh i never thought i would like this"? if you have, that's you getting to know yourself better. hopefully, we'll know a lot about ourselves before we leave this world. how to do that? try a lot of new things. you might not like some things, but that's the point, you'll know that you don't like certain things, and that will make you understand your self better.
i really wish to blog more. i have so many things to talk about, i wanted to tweet them all but i'm afraid people who follow my twitter would feel like i'm tweeting too much lol. so hopefully i'll express my thoughts on this blog more often.
p/s: i watched MAMA2018 the other day. i fell in love with mamamoo. those girls are awesome. also fell DEEPER IN LOVE WITH BTS. yeah fangirling is my middle name now. bye!
